October 23, 2007 - The Democratic National Committee is set to unveil its new ad campaign, "F*ck The Neocons! Vote Democrat!". DNC operatives have high hopes for the next election cycle and see this series of ads as the proverbial "nail in the coffin". DNC chairman Howard Dean made the following statement:
"We're very excited, very excited. Our PR advisors, Sheister, Huckster & Hoakes, have outdone themselves. 'F*ck the Neocons!' really resonated with our focus groups. Hell, I could hear the hollering from three floors away. Who needs substantive issues? Yeeeeeaaahhh!!!"
Republican strategists were somber. "This campaign could be particularly effective," said Karl Rove. "Not only does it mobilize their base, it also pits the GOP against itself. I tip my hat to them. We're going to have to go back to the drawing board."
Inside sources at Sheister, Huckster & Hoakes confirm that other groups are pursuing similar campaigns. "To demonstrate its versatility, consider that both the NAACP and a white supremacist group are signing on. Use your imagination on the white supremacist's ad...if you know what I mean. The NAACP is considering 'F*ck Da Man: Black Power!'" Other groups allegedly interested include the Girl Scouts of America, the ACLU, and McDonald's. No word on possible tag lines for those groups.
"Even we can't mess this up!" crowed an enthused Dean. "On to victory!"
